Story Time

two rather funny stories circulating via email I thought I'd share

The Lone Ranger

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got
their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.



Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger, and says, "Kemo Sabe,
look towards sky; what you see?"



The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."



"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.



The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute, then says, "Astronomically
speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially
billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the
morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful, and we are small and
insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day
tomorrow.



What does it tell you Tonto?"

"You dumber than buffalo shit, Kemo Sabe. Someone stole our tent."

***********

Don't mess with the Blonde

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive
double-pane energy-efficient kind. Yesterday, I got a call from the
contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the windows had
been installed a whole year ago and I hadn't paid for them yet.

Hellloooo? Now just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am
automatically stupid. So I told him just exactly what his fast-talking
sales guy had told ME last year... namely, that in just ONE YEAR these
windows would pay for themselves!

Helllooooo"? (I told him). "It's been a year"!

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just
hung up....

He hasn't called back, probably too embarrassed about forgetting the
guarantee they made me. Bet he won't underestimate a blonde anymore.